


Who Dares To Love Forever?

by mansikka



Series: Who Dares To Love Forever? [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mortality, POV Alec Lightwood, Truth Serum, Upset Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: A difficult meeting at the Clave forces a conversation about the one thing Magnus and Alec aren’t ready to even think about. After much reflection and research, Alec embarks on a journey to become immortal. Though with ceremonies to perform, sacrifices to be made, and an unexpected ‘gift’ from an absent Asmodeus, what will they both have to endure, to get their truly happy ever after?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Who Dares To Love Forever? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602904
Comments: 34
Kudos: 246
Collections: SHBingo





	Who Dares To Love Forever?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is for the bingo square _truth serum_.
> 
> This is the beginning of a multichapter story that, solely for the purposes of this bingo, will be posting as separate fics instead of chapters. It will be posting once a week until we're done; I think there are about 16 chapters in total, so if you want to wait until it's finished, see you in approximately four months 😉
> 
> I have taken several liberties to wedge all kinds of random bingo squares into one story. You'll see that when we get to the more complicated stuff. If you wanted to, some you could probably get away with reading as a standalone; if you squint and owlishly tilt your head enough. 
> 
> I... think that's all I have to tell you! Happy reading!

He's on edge, tightly coiled and ready to lash out, keeping his words to a minimum for how they'll likely come out as a growl. Alec has been on edge ever since hearing about the meeting. But now that he's on the other side of it, Alec's mood is no lighter. In fact, there isn't a time he can remember when his thoughts were this filled with despair.

Alec glances across the table to see Magnus glaring down at it with an equally stony expression to surely match his own. This entire meeting has been hard for Alec, but for Magnus? Alec can't even begin to understand what it's done to him. How many hours is it going to take for them both to feel less violated, and intruded upon?

"Negotiations were never going to be easy," Alec says because he has to say something, though first checking to make sure there is no one is loitering outside the meeting room door; not that he thinks there really would be. The moment proceedings came to an end everyone who _could_ leave had all but run from the room.

But it's Alec and Magnus, heading the meeting as Inquisitor and High Warlock of Alicante, who are duty-bound to stay until everyone else has gone. Alec wants to be _home_. They've bared enough of their souls this afternoon, Alec is raw from being so open, and sees the same feeling written all over Magnus' face too. Anyone else who needs to hear what he's really thinking can wait until his words stop coming out unfiltered. Though he supposes at least he has the perfect excuse now to curse out loud.

Magnus only clears his throat in that furious, silent way he does when he doesn't really trust himself to talk.

"But they're over with now," Alec continues, checking his tablet for any messages he may have missed then locking the screen and standing, desperate to be away from Idris.

Magnus stands too, stiff and precise, as though even too big a movement will let the anger he is feeling erupt from his skin. Alec pictures firecrackers bursting from his limbs, burning this meeting room to the ground in a red rage leaving them nothing but a pile of ash to stand on. He wouldn't blame him, not one bit, but even so, Alec has no idea of how to fix this. No idea how to take away the despair, and agony that is still there in Magnus' eyes.

"I have about another hour before I can leave," Alec tells him as he watches Magnus precisely tuck his chair beneath the table, running his fingers over his palms in the way he does when he's really trying to keep calm. "I can pick something up for dinner on the way home, if you'd like?"

Alec watches Magnus' jaw click and the tight way he swallows, trying not to jolt for the snap of Magnus' fingers that slams the door closed. He stands tall, hands behind his back in a familiar, comforting gesture, toying with his wedding ring as he watches Magnus pace. He waits for angry words, more protests about how these new Clave and Downworlder meetings complete with truth serum so that everyone is on the page is a breach of so many of the Accords. He knows Magnus' arguments, having heard them so many times. Alec shares many of them; though where do any of them stand if they object to the truth serum? They'd be accused of subterfuge, deceit, and many worse things even if all their objections are valid.

"Perhaps we should be spending a little more time with the Seelies," Magnus says as he spins on his heel for another turn of the room, this time making his way towards Alec.

"Why's that?"

"Because they know how to be cautious with their words, how to not reveal all they are thinking."

"Magnus," Alec says softly, "even the Seelies in these meetings have to take—"

"I _know_."

Alec holds steady as Magnus closes the gap between them to rest his hands on Alec's chest, having a smile ready for him when Magnus looks up. He is in _agony_; Alec could scream for the unfairness of it all, for not being able to a thing to soothe him. He gently takes him by the waist and pulls Magnus flush against him, closing his eyes as Magnus leans in for a kiss, feeling grounded for the first time all afternoon.

"I know the truth serum is supposed to make us all equal for these meetings. I know in theory, it is a good idea. But Alexander," Magnus says, licking his lips nervously, which Alec is not used to seeing, "we should have been better prepared for certain people to find a way to exploit it."

Alec sags against him, nodding in agreement, furious that he hadn't realized the extent of manipulation people in the cabinet were aware of until now. This new policy for open transparency in meetings needs a lot of work. Though they'd arranged them in good faith. How was he to know that people would ask questions, personal ones, related to issues outside of those being discussed in the name of coalition, to put others on edge and throw them off?

Almost eight months in, Magnus is adjusting to life in Alicante slowly, his mistrust of the Clave validated on an almost daily basis those first few weeks. Anything Alec has thought to say over those months to placate him never leaves his mouth, because he doesn't want to defend the Clave, whose underhanded tactics and snide mumbled words put a stiffness in Magnus' spine that Alec has spent hours unknotting. Things had been getting better, but today's meeting has only deepened that mistrust.

"I know," Alec agrees, wrapping his arms around Magnus to pull him into a hug. "We'll need to rethink how these meetings are going to work. What assurances we can put in place. How we can stick to the—"

"You are my _husband_, Alexander," Magnus says, still incensed, though that agony on his face seeping into his words.

"I know."

"I love you, more than anyone I have ever loved in my long, long life."

"Magnus. I know you do. It's okay—"

"So to try to undermine me, derail this meeting by bringing up details of my past that occurred _centuries _before half the people around this room were even born—"

"Magnus," Alec says, kissing him quiet, "I know. I do. And I _love _you. I love you, no matter what. You're entitled to a past. You've had a life before me. I wouldn't ever begrudge you that. You know that, right?"

"Well," Magnus says, with a look on his face that is a little softer, a flicker of playfulness that tugs on Alec's heart. "That isn't _entirely _true—"

"I looked in that memory box once—_once_, Magnus—"

"And we then had almost three days of you offering to put everything in our apartment inside that box as a memento of yours," Magnus finishes for him, the corners of his mouth turning up into an almost-smile. "Arrowheads, spatulas—"

"I think, if you remember, you'd just turned me down when I'd asked to move in with you," Alec points out, laughing because Magnus is now laughing; even if he ducks his head to try to hide it.

"Yes. Well. I was attempting to be chivalrous."

"_Chivalry_ is what kept you from letting me live with you?"

Magnus' mouth twitches in amusement, Alec's heart unclenching a touch for seeing the twinkle of laughter in his eyes. "Something like that."

"Well," Alec says, knowing more relief because Magnus is now relaxing properly in his arms, "I suppose you can't lie right now. So I believe you."

"By my reckoning, we have approximately another hour before the truth serum wears off."

"The perfect opportunity for me to figure out where you hid my favorite shirt," Alec teases, winking when Magnus looks.

"I haven't hidden it," Magnus replies, quickly darting his eyes away and his fingers up at his ear cuff. "I was wearing it."

"When?"

"When you went to New York for that meeting at the Institute and decided to stay for the night."

Alec's heart feels like it might burst. He hugs Magnus tighter, smiling a kiss into his shoulder.

"I should use this opportunity to ask _you _some questions," Magnus adds, his eyes crinkling in teasing.

"Magnus. You can ask me anything. Truth serum or otherwise. You know that."

"Anything?"

"Anything," Alec agrees, "always."

Magnus sighs, pulling back just enough to slot his fingers through Alec's, absently squeezing his wedding ring. "It's fine."

Immediately Alec is on edge, tilting Magnus' chin up with his finger so he can look him in the eye. "Anything," he insists, kissing him. "Anything you want to ask me. Anytime. Ask me now."

"It's nothing—"

"If it's nothing—"

"They were insinuating that our marriage is... you are everything to me, Alexander. _Everything_," Magnus whispers. Alec hates that there is a brightness to his eyes that suggests tears.

"You think I don't know that?" Alec replies, rolling his eyes. "You think them trying to say we were nothing but a political alliance—"

"I objected more to the insinuation that you were merely just a frivolity, just something to pass the time. That I was using you to push some kind of agenda that I would implement now, and somehow find a way to benefit me personally after your passing..."

Alec hugs him tight again for his voice cracking, cradling the back of Magnus' head. They don't have the immortality talk often, but on the occasions it does come up it is as though despair has replaced the air in the room. It is a private torment for them to deal with; Alec wants to punch and kick and strike out at anyone who tried to make it political, who thought it would be _entertaining_ to bring up the subject in their meeting today. He'll be dealing with certain Clave officials in the morning when he has a clear head. But for now, he holds Magnus close trying to offer comfort against a future he has no influence over, no way to shield Magnus from the pain of losing him. He has years ahead of him, they both know this, but in moments like this one, it feels like there is a clock ticking just out of their eye line. The dull thud of its turning hands taunting them both for Alec not being able to out-pace it. Alec whispers his love for Magnus until he feels more calm, smiling when he looks up again.

"Alexander," Magnus says, his voice urgent as his eyes flit over his face as he clutches on to his forearms, "I don't ever want to think about you being gone. Ever."

"No, I know. And I don't want to think about _being_ gone."

"I don't _want_ you to be gone."

"I know."

Magnus swallows, caution in his eyes that puts a tightness in Alec's stomach. "If there were a way for you... not to go. Would you want it?"

Alec shakes his head, not understanding him.

"I mean," Magnus says, licking his lips as he tries again, "if there were a way for you to... not _go_—"

"Magnus," Alec says, gripping him tighter. "If there was some spell, or ceremony, or _anything_ I could do, or take part in, or whatever, so I didn't have to leave you—ever—I'd do it now. Right this minute. Magnus, I'd do it _yesterday_."

"You would?" Magnus asks, both cautious and hopeful, making Alec fall in love with him all over again.

"Without hesitating." How could he want anything less than an eternity with Magnus? Magnus has taught him what _living_ means, when before he came into his life, Alec feels like he barely existed. And now they're married, and he gets to love and be loved every single day. Perhaps he's naive, but how would he ever want to give up this?

"It is so much to ask," Magnus says, now looking angry with himself, "forget I said—"

"Magnus. I had a few days without you, and my entire world felt like it was ending. I felt like I couldn't breathe, or think, or do anything. I know you love me. And I can't even think about how it would feel to not have you in my world again; not even for a minute. So to think of you alone—not that I'm saying you shouldn't move on, if you want to—"

"I don't want to love anyone else," Magnus whispers, his eyes bright with tears. Alec swallows for watching one slowly begin to trickle down his cheek, his breath shuddering before he reaches to thumb it away. He doesn't want Magnus to love anyone else either, but loves him too much to be selfish enough to ask that of him.

Alec knows he is missing something for the desperate way Magnus is looking at him. His heart begins to race, even if he doesn't know why. "Okay."

"If there were a way for you to stay. To live... longer. Perhaps for centuries. Would you take it? Would you do it?"

Understanding begins to dawn on Alec, the possibilities of what Magnus is suggesting to him making his blood ring in his ears. He raises his hands to cup Magnus' face drawing him in for a kiss, pressing their foreheads together before pulling back to smile.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come see if there are any updates or sneak peeks about this fic, come find me on [Tumblr](https://mansikkaomenabanaani.tumblr.com/).


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